a more articulate summary of the previous post

Okay. So last week I Facebook messaged a bunch of my friends and asked them if they were interested in donating to the “Get Johnathan an iPod For His 18th Birthday” fund. A lot of them were, especially after hearing that Johnathan still had an old-school CD player… that doesn’t work half the time. ANYWAY. I spent most of last week looking and acting incredibly sketchy.

ME: *shifty-eyed* So, you got the money?

FRIEND: Oh! *looks both ways, slips me a five*

ME: :)) *puts in white envelope*

You know, sometimes I’m really really glad that I’m small, Asian, and have this tendency to walk into walls. Most of the security guards/teachers who witnessed these BLATANT interactions were just like “… eh, she’s wearing cute sandals.” (Okay, maybe not exactly that… but my sandals are cute. They’re silver flip-flops from Old Navy. Amazing what you can get for $5.)

And in retrospect, it probably less of me being Asian as me being the type of gal that always get flagged down for directions. Sadly, I am directionally-challenged but I haven’t gotten any hapless tourists lost in the Ithacan Wild as of yet. That has to mean something, right?

Let me say this now: there is no future in being a CIA agent or a spy of any sorts. I fail at being secretive. I fail at subtlety. I am so so very glad that despite many close calls, Johnathan was oblivious like he always is.

Case in point, on Friday someone off-handedly commented to him that he was his own boombox since he beat-boxs and stuff. JOHNATHAN: Yeah, that’s because no one ever GOT ME THAT iPod. Emilee, Annette, and I nearly died at that– we thought he was on to us, but no. He was just being Johnathan.

Anyway, today when I got to school there was no Johnathan to be found. Concerned, I called him.

JOHNATHAN: Yeah, so on Thursday I was sick…

ME: … No, no no.

JOHNATHAN: So, I’m home sick.

ME: *carrying Johnathan’s present* NO YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU SAY.

I went upstairs to my locker and shoved Johnathan’s present into my locker.

In the middle of me going all “WHAT THE HELL, WHAT THE HELL” (”You should just keep the iPod,” Dave advised me, “All of that and J Reed isn’t here?”) Johnathan appeared out of nowhere, poking me in the rib and going “HAHA, SURPRISE! :D”

ME:… OMG, I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU—follow me. *drags Johnathan to my locker*

My amused friends followed in suit. Most of the people in H-Courtyard, the Seniors-Only Area, must have thought I was possessed.

ME: *shoves Johnathan’s present into his hands, walks away*

JOHNATHAN: *looking perplexed; pink Victoria Secret bag filled to the brim with chocolatey goodness with a mixed CD & a couple of birthday cards* Wha? *picks up a mini-Snickers bar*

DAVE: Uh, why don’t you investigate that FURTHER.

JOHNATHAN: *discovers iPod*

It was like he found kryptonite, guys. His expression was worth all the scheming, all the trial and error and hassling (I felt like a loan shark last week too, come to think of it).

JOHNATHAN: OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. *INSERT MILDLY HYSTERICAL/HAPPY LAUGHTER THAT STARTLED THE ENTIRE MATH HALLWAY*

DAVE: You know, she was thisclose to taking it back because you were being such a–

JOHNATHAN: OH MY GOD. Where’s Stacy?

DAVE: Uh, over–

ME: *gets tackled by 5′9, 175 lbs of pure muscle* EEEP.

JOHNATHAN: I don’t even care that I’m carrying the gayest bag in the world. *swings pink Victoria’s Secret bag around which, hahaha, was the closest thing to a gift bag I had in my room*

My life. :)